Life is chugging along.  Rehearsals are in full swing for the play.  What can I say?  I don’t know how I feel about it.  The direction is not conducive to a good play or a good experience for the cast.  I’m doing my best to make the most of it, but I’m still not sure.  All I know is – I’m not doing any more theater for free ever again.  

Last night we were working on a highly physical scene that involves weapons and, during a demonstration, let’s just say there was a mishap, no one is to blame (except maybe, cough, the director who is consistently impatient with EVERYTHING), but another girl in the cast got hit on her face and started bleeding pretty majorly.  No stitches, but still.   

The other night the director asked my fellow actor – to get him into the mood of the scene – what the most horrible thing he’d ever seen was.  Problem one.  And my scene partner actually answered with something just terrible and personal.  Problem two. Yikes.  Now, any good director would say to just imagine this and use it as fodder for the scene.  Well, not this guy.  He questioned him further, poking a hole into this terrible, private childhood wound in front of myself and the stage manager.  

I mean, Christ, how inappropriate and amateurish can you get?

Anyway.  Anyway!  A guy in the cast and I ranted last night after rehearsal for nearly an hour.  This is where we’re at, and there is a reason why this director works at this tiny theater and hasn’t moved forward.

Do the show, do the best you can under the circumstances, make sure that you’re comfortable, and move on.  And – if things get out of hand and you’re really treated badly, get out.

Anyway, overall it’s been a good experience.  This role I’ve taken is incredibly difficult and straining.  I’ve never had such an insane breakdown onstage before.  Some actors love it – I’m not so sure about it, but stretching is good.  It’s nice to see how far I can go.

It’s just a lot of amateurism.  And it’s also good to look around and say, you know what, I should be paid for my acting.  I know what I’m doing.  

I’m a professional and I will be treated like one from now on.  

I’ll let you know how it goes.


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