Excitement / Terror

All right, world.  This is the point where the work you make suddenly becomes public.  This is a still from my short film Winter Guest.  Just yesterday we made a trailer and put it on Facebook and…I’ve really been kind of blown away.  Lots of likes, lots of “I can’t wait to see its.”  I mean…

The tricky thing is accepting your shortcomings.  Obviously.  Always.  But we made this film a year ago, and now, of course, my taste has changed.  My acting has changed.  My idea of what should make a good short film has changed completely. When I look at our film…can I admit this?  I kind of hate it sometimes.  Other times I’m pretty smitten.

It all comes down to: I’m really really nervous.  We’re premiering our little short in Wisconsin a week from now.  And I’m afraid.

Afraid of what?  Afraid people are going to find it boring – it definitely is a slower moving character study.  Afraid they’re going to pick out the moments where it looks especially student film-y.  Because it does.  It’s not a real movie.  We made it for under $900.  Afraid they’re going to be like, well, after all that excitement, it’s really not much talk about.

But I have to let that go.  It was a first.  I’m making another soon, and then the feature this summer.

I’ll have a lot more to say about this trip coming up.  There’s so much to plan in terms of meeting with actors and business owners….I mean, I’m terrified.  I shake thinking about it.  Will anyone want to help me?  Will I get too excited and appear pushy?  (Don’t do it, Rebecca!)

I just have to breathe.  Plan well.  Show up like a nice, normal person (even though we know that I am clearly not).  Lord.  Anyway.  Here’s the trailer!  It’s simple, it shows our flaws, but it’s out there!

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